Separation Anxiety

My mom has always told me that when I was a little girl, I struggled big time with separation anxiety. My anxiety was so high in kindergarten that I would present to the nurse's office weekly with a new complaint in hopes of going home. Fast forward 25 years and it is no surprise that I have separation anxiety when leaving my little boy when I go to work.

Transitions have always been, and will always be, hard for me. This week is a big transitional week. We are changing caregivers for Jake and my stress is on high alert. We adore our current caregiver and are so sad to see her go (despite the fact that we know it is for bigger and better things in terms of school!). Jake lights up when he sees her and his giggle is pervasive when she is around. I can only hope that our next caregiver will be as great of a fit for our family.

Getting to work today was a struggle of emotions. I felt guilty for leaving Jake, sad that we will be saying goodbye, and resentful that I could not stay home. We are in transition mode at work as well and the start of the academic year is always very busy. We say goodbye to our current training class and start orientation next week to a new group of anxious interns. I can't help but realize that I will be emphathizing with them. After all, transitions are hard for everyone, right?!

Baby Essentials Birth to 3 months: Sleep

Hello, hello! When I was embarking on the adventure of motherhood a few months back, I scoured the internet for reviews of great baby products for the early days. I found a lot of great suggestions from moms and I'd like to pay it forward with a little round up of my own favorites. The categories are divided into sleep (part one: a category all on it's own!), part two: baby, and part three: momma

PART ONE: SLEEP

Jake has always been a great nighttime sleeper. Naps are a different story, but more on that at a later time. At 6 weeks, he was sleeping 6 hours straight a night which I hear is really great for a nursing baby. At 10-12 weeks, he was sleeping 8 hours straight in his crib. Before you start voodoo on me, I will explain that I think we have a great sleeper for 2 reasons: 1) it's just his thing - some babies are great sleepers and 2) we started developing a sleep routine and strong sleep cues from the very beginning. Here are a few of our very favorite sleep items:

1. Aden and Anais receiving blankets: My best friend Meg recommended these blankets to me and as soon as she found out we were having a boy, she thoughtfully sent us a set. She is also a sleep guru, so I took her sleep recommendations very seriously. We've used these blankets from day 1 and they have so many uses! Swaddle, cuddle, stroller blanket, line the floor to play, etc, etc. I always have one in the car and my diaper bag.

2. Fisher Price Rock and Play: If you are having a baby or know someone having a baby, chances are you've heard of this awesome cradle. Jake slept in his Rock and Play until about 8 weeks old. It was a great item to bring on trips up until about 5 months old when he has sadly outgrown his. Beg borrow and steal to get yourself a Rock and Play.

3. Miracle Blanket Swaddle: Jake was swaddled every night for sleep from the day we brought him home from the hospital. I strongly believe that this was the first step in helping him self sooth and develop healthy sleep habits from the start. After about 4 weeks old, he started to develop Houdini skills and was able to break out of any Aden & Anais swaddle we tried....until the Miracle Blanket came around. Sure, it looks like a straight jacket, but I promise that you won't care at 2 am.

4. White noise machine: This is another "s" (sound) that is strongly recommended by Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block (see below). And since having Jake, it is strongly recommended by me as well! We have a ranch, so it has always been very important for us to have a great sound machine in Jake's nursery so that we don't have to tip toe around the house when he is asleep. Karp also suggests that the white noise mimics the sound babies are accustomed to in utero.

5. Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: Sleep in newborns is a longstanding controversial topic. I won't go into the nitty gritty of these two books, but I will say that they both helped us develop a strong sleep routine for Jake. I highly recommend both for new parents.

And that wraps up my sleep essentials recommendations from birth to three months!

Which items are in your top 5?!

5 months!

Here is Jake at 5 months and guess what...?! I am right on schedule.

 

I'm happy to announce that Jake is now rolling up a storm! It must have been all the tummy time training with Papa on Cape Cod because within a week of returning home, he started rolling over all the time. Jake has also started eating solids this week and he loves rice cereal. Next up, bananas!

One of his favorite summertime activities has been the bucket swing at the park near our house. Here he is enjoying some swing time in the shade.

We've been having a great summer so far!

Jake, 3 & 4 months

Somehow I dropped the ball on posting Jake's 3 month picture. I also dropped the ball on his 4 month shot....woops! He'll be 5 months next week so I figured I better get on it.

At 3 months, Jake is smiling up a storm. He smiles the most at faces and will entertain himself for quite a while in the mirror. He loves his Discover and Grow Piano Gym and goes nuts hitting the keyboard and reaching for toys. He also rolled over from his tummy to his back! He did this several times in a row over the course of a few days and must have since decided it was no big deal because he didn't do it again for another 6 weeks. Go figure!

At 4 months, Jake continues to light up our lives with his smile. He smiles wide and also with his eyes, which is my favorite part. He is also belly laughing now. He will get into a laughing spell for over a minute and it is just about the best part of my day. He is definitely reaching for toys purposefully and he can hold toys with one or both hands for a few seconds at a time. He prefers to be sitting with support so that he can look around the room and continues to be so curious! He is getting close to rolling over from his back to belly but I think *ahem* his rolls might be getting in the way. And speaking of rolls....oh.my.goodness. I do love a chubby baby and my boy is a chunker! Jake sleeps through the night now from about 6:00 to 6:00. I am really thankful that we have such an excellent sleeper BUT that wide window of sleep only leaves me about 1.5 hours with him when I get home from work. I usually start bedtime routine which consists of a bath, nursing, a pumped bottle (he works hard for those rolls), then a few verses of Sweet Baby James and then crib. I love this routine.

 

If you ask our nanny if Jake is a great sleeper, she would tell you a different story. He an AWFUL napper. AWFUL. I guess we can't have it all!

I'm looking forward to all of the exciting milestones that lie ahead!

I've survived.

I'm seven weeks into returning to work post maternity leave. So, how's it going you might ask? Well, given that is has taken me a whole seven weeks to update my return to work on the blog, that might be a pretty good indicator that things are.....BUSY!

The first few weeks after I returned to work, I was in a groove. I really felt great. Jake started sleeping through the night around 3 1/2 months old and his nursing schedule seemed to be totally in sync. It was fun to see my colleagues at work and it was great to hear so many people "oooh" and "ahhhh" over pictures of Jake. I was finally using my brain to do something more than calculate how much frozen breast milk I had in my freezer stash. I remember thinking, "I got this. I can be a mom AND have my career."

Sure enough, those words were my Achilles heel. For some mothers, the first weeks back might be the most challenging. For me, it was most definitely weeks 4-6 that presented the biggest challenge. Call it a slump, call it baby blues, call it whatever you want but I was most definitely not calling it "great." All of a sudden my clinics picked up, my work responsibilities seemed to triple.  I never felt like I was accomplishing my list of things to do by the end of the day. I was rushing out of work at the end of the day, feeling totally unaccomplished as a psychologist/supervisor/colleague. And here is the kicker  - I was rushing home to my son who's entire day I had missed, feeling totally unaccomplished as a mother. I now understand the true meaning of "mother's guilt." It hit me hard.

So, how did I dig myself out of the baby blues abyss? Running. Just as with other times in my life, my sneakers and the open road are the exact therapy I needed to help me feel like myself again. The big difference now is that I have such limited time to myself to escape with a run. Convinced that finding time to run would be cheaper than therapy and healthier than a bottle of wine, I committed to running two days on the weekend and once during the week. I ran a 5 miler race while vacationing on Cape Cod and I could feel the life pulse again through my veins.

I'm seven weeks into returning to work post maternity leave and I'm happy to report that I've survived. I now know that I will have great days and days where nothing goes my way. I think I can work out a balance as long as I can still find time to wear my Asics.